Crying Can Make You Healthier

We all know a good cry helps to soothe our minds. Now doctors are discovering that tears may help to heal our bodies, too. Roger Dobson reports

It makes nine out of 10 people feel better, reduces stress, and may help to keep the body healthy. It's also free, available to almost everyone, and has no known side effects, other than wet tissues, red eyes and runny makeup.

Extracted from 'How Crying Can Make You Healthier' reported in The Independent UK

That's good to know. I needed one today. Someone really tested my patience today and it has been going on for quite some time. She's bitchy. I told her so and she has been perfecting her bitching skills ever since. I shouldn't be surprise actually. Just say a lot of prayers and shed a few tears to release stress and hopefully everything will turned out fine?

I listened to an audio seminar to block off unwanted noise and were reminded of a few things. Among them:-

* We only have one life. How do we want to live it?
* Are we survivors or winners?

What's your answer? What's mine?

... .gone to think....

First Formal Education

We normally have lunch in the office. Sometimes we eat at our desk in-front of our PC or laptop and sometimes we have a luxury of gathering at our resource room chit-chatting and reading newspaper while or after having lunch. The topics of discussion can vary from work to economics to artist to politics and family. Recently a colleague told us the antiques of her six year old daughter. It was really funny and reminded me of my first formal education. What a huge gap it was as compared to what children nowadays have to go through at kindergarten and school.

How's your first formal education go? Do you still remember?

I had a really short stint in kindergarten. My mom decided not to continue sending me there because after some time (I don't know how long exactly), I only knew how to spell from A to F :) She said we spend more time playing than learning. Anyway, during my time, kindergarten was more of a luxury than a necessity.

I don't remember much about my time at the kindergarten. I remember we have singing sessions and in one of them I belted 'One Way Ticket' that must have sounded like Greek because I don't know English 'sepatah haram' back then. The only thing that makes sense must be the chorus that contains 'One way ticket to the ...' I still don't know the lyrics of that song until now :D Singing is never my strong point. Dancing will be more of my type hehehe...

I still remember I don't like the rice porridge provided during recess time. I told the teacher I'm not eating the porridge, it smelled like 'fart' hahahaha... I remember I have a favorite batik matching blouse and skirt that I always wore and I also remember abah dropping me off on his motorbike. Was it his Vespa? I can't remember whether he already uses his Vespa then or did he got it much later.

When I was in Standard One, I was quite clueless to the lessons taught in school. I remember we have exercise books with big squares where we have to write 1s for full page, and 2s on the next page, 3s and so on. Similarly with alphabets. I love the feel and smell of a new book, I always lose my pencil and ended up having to write with black color pencil. My exercise book was ugly with smudges from the color pencil.

I love to read or the thought of being able to read ever since I was young. I would look at our text book and read out loud based on the pictures on the book using my imagination. I haven't a clue what was written on them. Be it Malay or English book. I can finally read the Malay books by the second term I think because the spelling session with the vowels make sense to me so much so that I proudly pronounced 'Dutch Baby' as 'dootch babai' to my mom showing her I can already read :)

My father was a fan to Majalah Gila-Gila. He kept them all and what once a material for scribbling and doodling for my brother and I, became my best friend. I read them all and would get frustrated if I couldn't find the continuing series. I can't remember the name of the series I love to follow but the hero only have two front teeth. If I asked mom, she would say either my brother or I tore the pages of some of the magazines and maybe it was thrown away. I do remember Tan Tin Tun and Dan Din Don. I learned chess from Dan Din Don.

English was a mystery to me. There were no rules. I always got scolded by our 'Cikgu Teacher' during reading session. She always pinch the back of my hand for writing mistakes. Back then there's no Sesame Street or Barney to help us with our English lesson. When I first heard English on TV I asked mom why watch Chinese movie. Suddenly one day, as if I got a revelation, I can smoothly read a paragraph in class. I was elated when Cikgu Teacher praised me. I even have few extra friends who must have thought this girl is so 'pandai' can read English already so better be friend with her.

From then on, I started reading all the English books out loud at home, whether I understood the meaning or not. I may have mispronounced some words but I love the fact that I can already read. I remember 1 pink and 1 yellow book about a girl living in Toa Payoh and I love reading the two books. After that I became a voracious reader. Anything that has something written on it, will be read. I have to thank Cikgu Teacher Jaswant Singh for that. For some reason, I remembered her name tonight. She has long straight hair and she wore glasses. I can't recall her face though.

Nowadays children already have to learn big numbers of summation and subtraction and know how to read at kindergarten. My colleague's daughter already feel pressured to pass her kindergarten exam. Children have to grow up faster now. I pity them.

Our Open House

It's a hot night tonight. It has not rained for the past few days and while this could be a blessing to those who lived in flood prone area and even I never like a gloomy rainy day but after a few days of heat, I'd welcome some rain.

It feels like I have been working the whole day today. It's for a personal project and I'm still torn between two options. Probably writing or ranting would clear up my mind for a while.

Around this time last week, I was cleaning the house and slaving in the kitchen for our open house. Hubby wants to cater some of the food but after careful consideration, I figured I can handle all the cooking. I can still smile when I remembered hubby's response when I told him I'll be cooking. "Biar betul!" in such a disbelief tone hehehe...

I rarely cook since we're married. Normally we'll finish work quite late and by the time we reached home, both would be famished. The thought of waiting for another hour or so till the food got cooked was just unbearable. So eating-out it is. But, I also know my cooking is acceptable. No one has been poisoned so far. I know I have never cook at a large scale before but there's always the first time right? And normally my first attempt worked.

It's risky no doubt inviting people to your house and there's a risk of not enough food to serve but I'm adamant to give it a try. There's food backup just in case. Then hubby thought my food backup was still not enough so he bought more backup for my food backup hehehe... The fried chicken, chicken fingers and nugget were a hit so thank God for hubby's extra backup. My second boss went into the kitchen wanting to know how we marinated the chicken. We also cook fried mee as an addition in the late afternoon. We have other plans for the mee actually but I thought that would be too much. Thank God I hired a very competent helper to help in the kitchen. Otherwise, I'll have no time to mingle with the guest at all.

I envisioned myself looking perfectly made-up in my stunning kebaya greeting and entertaining our guest during our first open house together. All the food would also be ready by the time our first guest arrive.

Reality check: I still wore the blouse and pants worn while cooking in the morning and the main dish was still not ready when our first guest arrived. Yikesss!! Lucky they're family so everyone got into the kitchen to help. Anyway everything turned out quite well. The rice was a bit soft and the jelly should be sweeter but other than that, the food were OK. Some of my friends praised lavishly after being well-fed so I'm one very satisfied cook even though I don't have enough time to 'meng-anggunkan diri' :D

I cook a lot of things for the first time last week and I just googled most of the recipes too. Everything has to be cook at a large scale. My only limitation was we don't have that many big pots and pans. I bought some for the occasion but still there were not enough large containers to mix and store things. Next time, I'll know what to borrow from relatives :) Last week was a really tiring but enjoyable week.

I learn many things.

1. I need a bigger frying pan
2. I need a lot more big containers
3. Ketupat and lemang were not people's favorite after going to so many open houses
4. Because of item 3., 2kgs of meat would be enough for the rendang
5. 2kgs of Basmathi rice was more than enough. Maybe next time I should just cook 1 to 1.5 kgs.
6. 2 packs of minced meat were enough for the spaghetti sauce
7. 500gms of spaghetti would be enough. Buy another smaller pack just in case
8. About 3 kgs of chicken would be required for the fried chicken
9. We used 2 packets of chicken fingers and 2 packets of nuggets
10. I need another bottle of chilli sauce. The tomato sauce was not a favorite at all
11. The mee packet bought at Tesco and Fajar wasn't good. If I'm not mistaken the brand was Mi Ku or something like that.
12. We need lots of rugs and towels in the kitchen. It gets messy and wet easily during all the chaos
13. I need the container where people put water to wash hands
14. We need a bigger mat
15. There are few other things we need but the most important thing, cooperation and lots of love :)

Many little things and a smile from hubby from across the room meant a lot during those busy moments. Not to mention the foot massage afterward :D Heavenly.

News of the day: Fatwa on Yoga... Let's do Kejora Instead

I'm sure many Muslims who has been practicing yoga waited for the official fatwa in abated breathe while the Muftis get a crash course on yoga before they make any decision. I have attended several yoga classes led by several Chinese instructors and apart from 1-2 who said their ohms after the class, there's nothing during the exercise session that suggested the presence of Hinduism elements.

While it would be nice if the Fatwa said 'Yoga is not Haram', it wouldn't bother me much if they say it is. I will probably have a tough time explaining to other Muslims why I still continue attending my yoga classes (when I got the time to go actually). But haven't the same fatwa council said smoking is Haram and yet we see Muslim men, and women included, smoking away like chimneys endangering not just their health but their loved ones from the second hand smoke.

If some people insisted Yoga originates from Hinduism, why don't we change the name to reflect a modern Yoga that focuses on health and not religion. Probably we can use Kejora instead since Jalan Alor got to keep its name :) Then I can say I'm going to my Kejora class hehehehe...

Another Love Of My Life

This is another love of my life :) He is so adorable. How can I not love him... he is so sincere, so nonjudgmental and he gives back as much love as he receives. No questions asked, no filters and no layers of pretense whatsoever.

Adik, Mak Sue misses you very much!

The One

The One.

It's a romantic comedy shown on TV tonight. It was heart wrenching watching Michael Blake struggles with his feelings towards Gail throughout the movie. Bill, Michael's best friend, has a phrase for what Michael's going through... proximity without intimacy. It must have been torturous for him to keep his feelings like that. My heart goes out to him whenever he makes a blunder. I have the tip of my tongue at the back of my front teeth, willing Michael to make the declaration of his feelings towards Gail.

Gordie, Gail's fiance, is a nice guy with a temper and self-centeredness that may exist in each and everyone of us. How well do you know your other half? That is the question that brings a sweet ending to the movie.

How well do I know hubby? We're still discovering each other's quirks and fancies. How do I KNOW he's the one? That's a little bit more complicated to explain but in a gist, he stood up through flying daggers and zingers to discover the other side of me. Before I met hubby, I was always skeptical when people say you'll find someone and you'll know he's the one. I was like.... yeah right! then how come so many marriages ended up in divorce when they have accepted the other half as 'the one' or else they wouldn't get married to each other. Right??!! May our marriage has Allahs's blessings as long as we live and if you're still looking, you probably wouldn't believe me either but you'll know if he or she is 'the one' :)

Whenever you stare at him while he's asleep or when he's not looking, you're just glad he has become part of your life and you'll go through life's journey together. Yikes... I'm going so mushy tonight. Must have been because of the warm and fuzzy feeling I got from watching the movie :D

Of Being in Control... and Not

One of the thing I dislike so much is of judgmental people and those who backbites. I'm not perfect. I'm human too... thus I may be guilty of the same mistake but I'll not do it consciously. I've always subscribed to this saying, "Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you." But then, how can you make people realize that? How can you make people believe in the same principle as yours? I'd say I may have better luck watching the grass grow than change people.

Below is an article that is said to be the 90/10 Rules by Stephen Covey. I have read this passage before but I can't recall from which book. Anyway, it is the message that is important. I should practice it more often especially while driving :)

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? ... Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D". You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

It still hurts when you found out how judgmental some people can be or of what people has been saying behind your back BUT... those are the things that you do not have any control of. As for the things I CAN control, I'm glad I have my conscience clear. And as for the things I CAN control, I'm about to make a dramatic change in my career. It's scary and exciting at the same time. Isn't it great? That we have a choice :)

Selamat Hari Raya 1429 Hijrah

I still remember how it was during Hari Raya last year. That was the most challenging Raya for me. So many things has happened since then. This is my first Raya as a wife. Alhamdulillah, it went very well :) We celebrated at hubby's kampung. I was part of the ketupat crew and got the 'tender' for beef and chicken. I was wearing my wrist watch when we clean and wash the chicken. I'm sure the CSI team can still find a lot of chicken DNA on the band of my wrist watch :D

I have a small family. Hubby's big. All the food is cooked at a large scale. Almost like a 'kenduri' scale. I enjoyed every minute of it. It was tiring but everyone seemed to be in the festive mood and enjoyed the gathering. The children were running all over the place and it can be quite overwhelming for someone who normally have her peace and quiet but it was fun getting to know my little nephews and nieces. They are cute. Cute nieces and nephews means I have to prepare more Angpow this year :)

We also have a special invitation to an open house hosted by Puteri Gunung Ledang hehehe... This is the time for us to relax and unwind.


The waterfall


This is us :) You can also find Duyung Ledang Muslimah if you were at the open house but hubby said his hands were too wet to take her photo.


The other guests...


The path




On something not so nice, I discovered the ugly side of human nature. Rubbish were thrown all over the place all the way to the waterfall despite the many rubbish bins provided. Sigh! I have some pictures but decided not to waste my bandwidth by posting them. I take it upon myself to collect and throw rubbish found along my way. Hubby has to help in which he asked since when does he become the member of Malaysian Nature Society hehehe... I told him I already subscribed to the family membership so he automatically becomes a member :)

There's another thing. It's like getting a jolt with a bucket of icy water. I can only do so much, say so much, hope so much... the rest is up to Allah. It's my fault. I have always respected other people's privacy. I expect other people to respect mine too. But this time I break my own rules... to receive a painful lesson. I'm not going to make it a habit. I've learnt my lesson. No matter what other people say or do, I'd like to say I have my conscience clear. I prayed everyone will have a blessed Syawal.

Eid Mubarak... Kullu ‘aamin wa antum bikhairin... Minal ‘aaidil wal faaizin.